Being a human comes with the natural desire to survive and to achieve a state of happiness/success/fulfilment. Generally these things are chased by collecting external validation through material gains, awards or ignoring the reality of ones circumstances. As I consider myself a human (until further information suggest otherwise) I am fully aware of my own experience in attempting to capture a sustainable sense of fulfilment. As a young adult this has generally been sort after through the consumption of art, drugs, sex and even spiritual endeavours. The pattern to recognise is consumption. This is a saturated topic in the “spiritual community” (one which has a lot to say for itself but that’s another post) which always suggest to look inwards rather than externally. Regardless, I like to experiment with my personal life and see what works, and that leads me to the topic of this post – vulnerability.
Whether it’s business, relationships or your personal life, I’ve noticed one of the key ingredients to fulfilment is vulnerability.
Now, this is no secret and by no means do I think I’ve got it figured out. Though I do feel I have stumbled on something that connects me to people and to myself stronger than many other mediums or endeavours I’ve tried.
So what is being vulnerable? This is obviously subjective but I will break it down into 3 phases (plus a bonus) that I consider a clear path to my version of vulnerability.
Phase 1: This starts with looking within and discovering what truly scares you. I mean the stuff that you don’t even want to admit to yourself let alone share with anyone. This could be as “surface level” as loosing your job and that’s ok. But if you keep digging you’ll see that it’s generally something deeper than the concept of not working in your current position.
Phase 2: This is the digging deeper part. It’s when you’ve discovered that “yeah, I’m afraid I might lose my job, that DOES scare me!” but are willing to investigate where that stems from. This could lead you to a darker place but hey, this is what being vulnerable is all about. Take your time and see what pops up. In this case the conclusion may be that you’re scared of being a failure. It may take a variety of inward investions to find that and a lot of rehashing of experiences, but it’s well worth the time.
Phase 3: Like anything, it’s all about acceptance. This is when you truly admit that this is a part of you. “yeah, I am utterly terrified of being a failure” and looking yourself in the mirror and admitting that this feeling is as real as the nose on your face.
The hardest of them all, and yet the most fulfilling. Finding someone you trust and who trusts you (I suggest this being someone you have a very close relationship with) and sharing with them this fear. Ideally you share it in its totality, in this example it would be admitting you are terrified of being a failure. Why you are terrified and that you are even afraid to admit it to yourself or have only just accepted it.
This part can lead to many interesting exchanges and is nothing short of revealing and totally fulfilling when you can connect with someone on that kind of level.
Why should you do this?
- Well as I’ve stated it can bring a sense of fulfilment unlike anything you may have experienced (if done correctly)
- This will bleed into everything you do, your art, your way of connecting to everyday people the way you see the world.
- What have you got to loose? Your ego? Your pride? Good, get moving then!
My goal is to create more of this in all areas of my life and hopefully inspire people to let go and embrace being vulnerable.
So to get things started here’s one of my own. I’m scared of growing up in a world I don’t fit in and having to choose between being lonely and changing to suit the world around me. There is a lot more to this but at least you got a little taste, and trust me there is plenty more where that came from 🙂